Hey There!

(…if anyone is going to still read this…) I’m sorry to have neglected this blog for so long and leave you hanging… and partly because I pay a decent amount to just leave it idle, haha.  I have been stuck with terrible writer’s block lately, struggling super hard with what to write about. I have come up with a couple ideas and started working with them, so hopefully I’ll be back to posting regularly soon.  In the meantime, I don’t want to talk too much about myself; I want to share two writings by my beloved Sean William Michael (and for comedic relief at the end, my NSFW refrigerator “poetry.”)

Some Poetry by Sean William Michael

The other day while cleaning up, I came across a small journal.  I have a bunch of them, and I always like to flip through the pages when I find them.  Most of them are barely used, as was the case with this one.  Of the little writing in there, there was something super significant.  I came across a poem Sean wrote:

A Poem Found

A Poem Found by Sean William Michael
No matter how much I slumber
When I wake I still wonder 
Is today when I give up
And let fate pull my number?
I hope for the best
Yet I only get the worst
I almost envy my lost friends
Riding peacefully in a hearse
Though my effort may seem slim
I find the more I try the less I win
I constantly blame myself for this hell we’re living in
Everyday my heart breaks for what I put you through
I overwhelm myself and let my sadness brew
I keep it pushed down
And my head underground
Wishing each and every morning 
That I won’t see you frown
Yet time and time again
I constantly let you down
I can’t hope for you to believe
That I’m trying to turn a new leaf
To keep you with me
And try harder to succeed

In the future I see us together
Until that last breath that I breathe
I know it depends on my ability
To change my lazy ways
I know your heart may sway
If this continues on this path
But my heart and mind know
My actions in your eyes last

- Sean William Michael

So, I’m obviously biased, but the beauty, depth, and emotion in that poem brought tears to my eyes.  Based on the notebook and just our general timeline, I’m guessing this was written at some point in early 2018.  That was one of the hardest times in both of our lives, separately and together.  I don’t want to get too much into it though because we got through it and that’s what matters. Reading this poem reminded me of how hard things were for a bit, but the love we still shared for each other even though we were both struggling. I think back on some of that time, and I feel that on some of those hard days our love was at its deepest.

I just want to remark on how well Mr. Sean William Michael commanded those words in that poem above.  On that note, I want to share how he also didn’t need to use as many words to create a poem with emotion.  The poem below was something he wrote with the little word magnets on our fridge:

Refrigerator Love

Love by Sean William Michael
Almost always love is tremendously beautiful
She is a sweet aroma
And I am awful smoke

- Sean William Michael

When I found that on the fridge, I was blown away with how elegant he was with such a small selection of and amount of words. I was also a bit jealous because what I had written on the fridge was nowhere near as good.  What I wrote was a joke and the complete opposite of how refined his was. I really wish I had more of his writing to share, especially things on a lighter note, as I know these two aren’t very sunny.  While Sean was often a very cheery guy, he did have periods of depression like I do, and that’s when he would turn to writing.  I hope to come across more of what he wrote as I continue to clean. 

I also shared this poem with my friend Gina and she said it reminded her of a painting by Edvard Munch called “Separation.” I have to agree and the name just feels so fitting as well. Personally, I feel Sean’s poems could all have a beautiful accompanying work of art with them.  I also think he should be in the Academy of American Poets.

Separation by Edvard Munch

Now for something a little more lighthearted, I’ll share the literary art I left on the fridge.  I also share this because my having written something on the fridge is what prompted Sean to do so.  I think once you read it, you’ll realize why I was jealous of Sean’s refrigerator poetry.  First, I will say the goodbye letter I wrote to Sean was a bit more eloquent, if you want to check out some of my real writing. My fridge poem, however, is vulgar and just all around horrible, but it might make you laugh?  I’m not sure, I might take it out of this post.  Please let me know if you think I should. NSFW:

The Meaty Mouth Adventure Recipe

Thirst: The Meaty Mouth Adventure Recipe by Liz Kay
Hungerly tongue lick moist mushroom head
Crave & devour up the raw wiener bone
Linger deep
Soon will swallow succulent cream sauce

- Liz Kay

I’m sure you can now see why my immature self is a bit jealous of Sean’s prose.  Anyways, have a great weekend!